School Rule Aficionados Gifts

'Now, the school playground rules are: No fighting, no pushing, and, most importantly, no biting!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"Nothing says 'Teacher Appreciation' like an administrator winning the raffle."

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'You have to stay after school because you got caught in the hall without a pass? But you're homeschooled!'

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

Prefect.

'If all the classes use computers, why am I still the eraser cleaning monitor?'

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

Football foul (red card).

"The staff at this school just seem like family to me."

"Sammy, where is your tail? Go check the lost and found."

"The head will see you now."

"At least I'm learning right from wrong."

"They replaced all the soda with bottled water!"

Sex Education Class - "Today in class I'll be explaining where your babies come from."

"I pulled my mask down for five seconds to sip coffee."

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'All dogs must be on leashes.'

'Underarm. . . underarm!'

"Is that a smile on her face?"

The faculties new biker gang dress code dramatically reduced discipline problems at Welsner Junior High.

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.