School Rule Aficionados Gifts

'Now, the school playground rules are: No fighting, no pushing, and, most importantly, no biting!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"Nothing says 'Teacher Appreciation' like an administrator winning the raffle."

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'You have to stay after school because you got caught in the hall without a pass? But you're homeschooled!'

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

Prefect.

'If all the classes use computers, why am I still the eraser cleaning monitor?'

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

Football foul (red card).

"The staff at this school just seem like family to me."

"At least I'm learning right from wrong."

"The head will see you now."

"Sammy, where is your tail? Go check the lost and found."

"They replaced all the soda with bottled water!"

Sex Education Class - "Today in class I'll be explaining where your babies come from."

"I pulled my mask down for five seconds to sip coffee."

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'Underarm. . . underarm!'

"Is that a smile on her face?"

'All dogs must be on leashes.'

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.

'Fouls and other violations have plummeted since the league introduced corporal punishment.'