School Reforms Gifts

"I know I told you monsters weren't real, son, but the one under your bed happens to be very real."

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

Budget

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

New dunce caps

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

End Gun Violence

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

NO CRT

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

Elections in German - If 'The Greens' come to power. . .

'She's the only girl in her home economics class.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Truth In Education

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Bernie for Labor!