School Policy Advocate Gifts

"I think we really need to review our tracking policy, Mr. Corello!"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Another shot heard round the world.

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Gold versus Knowledge

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Good writing is good thinking

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'Kids, you can all do it! Latest scientific research shows that you're smarter than previously believed.'

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'

Global Education

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'If your parents want you excused from tomorrow's film on pollination, you'll need a note from home.'