School Parties Gifts

'The party finished early, our teacher had a nervous breakdown.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

Paul goes home for the holidays

Children's Party

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

King of Music.

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

"In an effort to make this a more pleasant meeting, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales figures chart counter-clockwise a full ninety degrees."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

'Try one...they're miniature annual reports.'