School Mascot Maven Gifts

"Cruz, I really like your idea of starting an iPhone club...seriously, sign me up!"

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Save the unicorn.

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

The hall of bad ideas.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

Body Building Mishap

A man takes a selfie with an Egyptian mummy

Facial hair continental drift.

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

"It's funny...back when I first signed up to 'Adopt an Endangered Manatee', I thought they just wanted me to send money. Instead, little Julia came along and changed my life forever."

Tunnel of Louvre

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Scary things in the museum