School Governance Guru Gifts

'Then it's agreed. Our mission statement will be to deliver more and better education.'

'I'm going to walk around the school - keep me under constant surveilance.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other

Government and Opposition

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"