School Governance Guru Gifts

'Then it's agreed. Our mission statement will be to deliver more and better education.'

'I'm going to walk around the school - keep me under constant surveilance.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Sybil Obama

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Government and Opposition

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'