School Daze Hero Gifts

'They say that breaking up is hard to do, so I brought along a grief counselor.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Good luck with all the revision...

"Recess does things to a man."

PROBLEM AREAS

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

Nervous Student

"She's a high grade teacher."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'Just doing the school run.'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

"We moved here for the schools."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."