School Days Escapist Gifts

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Young Houdini

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Desert Mirage

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

'Ready or Not here I come.'

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

Who's the suit? Warning. Nude beach.

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Sleeping Tiger

Back to school anchor

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Teacher's Lounge

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

"Realism! . . . Realism!"

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Last day of school.

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"