School Culture Critic Pillows

"6B meet your new form teacher."

The height of fashion in 1796

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Say 'eh.'"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"How is it in Russia?"

"I'm after the history section."

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

California Beverages Map

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"The last doggy bag."

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Mr. Frite Head

Get Your Shot