College Culture Critic Pillows

'Caution: Some content may be offensive to sensitive students.'

The height of fashion in 1796

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Say 'eh.'"

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

All Hail the Matriarchy

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"I'm after the history section."

"How is it in Russia?"

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Pop culture! How come they never have Mom culture?

Get Your Shot

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

Mr. Frite Head

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"