College Culture Observer Pillows

Welcome to University of Lowered Expectations...formerly: College of Hard Knocks.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

Police Statetion

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"They grow up so fast."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

Regardless children just want to fit in.

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"This company isn't big enough for two anthropomorphic dogs."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Trump Tower

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

'Does that include our hidden agendas when they asked everyone to re-prioritize?'

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

America's pastimes through British eyes

"I wanted to talk to the boss about the alarming sick leave level but ten minutes ago he called in sick..."