School Culture Critic T-Shirts

"6B meet your new form teacher."

The height of fashion in 1796

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Say 'eh.'"

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"I'm after the history section."

"How is it in Russia?"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

California Beverages Map

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Get Your Shot

Mr. Frite Head