School Cafeteria Survivors Gifts

'Look, we were really misled about how cool you were...Would you mind sitting at another table?'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"It's going to be one of those days."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

'My hero!'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"It's been a stressful school year."

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"An answer is crossing my mind ... it just hasn't made it all the way across yet."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'