School Bus Driver Gifts

Two school buses are parked beside one another; one reads "De Facto" while the other reads "De Jure".

Super Safe School Bus.

'I appreciate the ride, Mom, but it's gotten a little weird since you started driving a school bus.'

'Degree in Psychology and a former Referee. I think your qualified to be a School Bus Driver.'

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

'And that one is for driving a school bus.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'This guy is really tough - He used to drive a school bus!'

"This black karate belt is phony, but it keeps my kids orderly."

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Yep...they found him sitting behind the wheel blubbering a confession. And he'd only been driving that grade school bus for a couple of days."

Travel Pills.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Kid to sister about Zamboni (ice smoothing machine): 'Yep, I think we're going to have a snow day.'

The End of Summer Is Near.

'Morning Larry, taking the kids to school? Have you still got the duck farm?'

Back to school: The Horror,

'No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline.'

Cool Bus

School bus. Al's Garage. The wheels on the bus go $90.95, $90.95, $90.95

School bus. Stop. Learn.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

The last Passenger Pigeon

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Jungle Taxi

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

Someday

'The penguin is upset...'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"