School Budget Defender Gifts

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"You pay taxes to send me to school? Hey, that's where you can save money."

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'The recurring poor enrollment prognostications plays havoc with our school district's budget. What will next year's enrolment be.'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

"If they add one more mandatory standardized test... we'll have to lengthen the school year!"

Arming teachers...what's the worst that could happen?

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

The Children Are Our Future!

"The cuts have made things even worse...It's the worst part of the job. Having to spend so much time with people at the very end of the tether...people with no hope, no optimism for the future, people in a state of despair!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

"All I'm saying is that family values are really important to all of us. For example...I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. You?"

"Due to budget cuts we had to combine our athletic fields."

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"Because I said so, is in fact an effective argument for debate. Just ask my mom."

Sticker Shock 2007.

'With the school's dire budget problems, we're now teaching math by charging ten dollars for the course, as well as the same amount for each of your other classes'