Scholarship Coordinator Pillows

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

vaccine wars.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

Pinara fund

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Planes drop vaccines over a city

'Class, let's welcome Timmy, our Exchange Student, who's joining us for the next three weeks...'

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Airplane dropping vaccines.

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"Australia's covid vaccine roll out has experienced significant delivery coordination difficulties since its launch...why would that be."

Student Debt

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

Hey, Twig! Why so blue? Everyone's into awesome stuff this summer. Math camps. Leadership programs. Studies abroad. A bunch of resume padders. Yeah, They're grinds. What about you? Nothing special. Just volunteering. Where? At a rain forest project in Costa Rica. That's look so lame on your college application.

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"That's for our son. . . the one with a basketball scholarship!"

Roads Scholar

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'