Scholarly Scribe T-Shirts

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Alexander Pope

Waiting Room For Godot.

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Computer literate Monk

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

"He calls it the eBible."

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

Monk on PC.