Scholar Of Savings Pillows

Congratulations 2015 graduates on this momentous step in your life...

British savings accounts

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

Investing your savings

"So much for password protected."

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Roasting the Moneybox

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"It failed the stress test."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Do you have an Isa?"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank