Schadenfreude Seeker Pillows

'I come here every once in a while for a fresh shot of schadenfreude.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Murder in Apartment 6-K

The Reaper's Arms

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"See how it feels"

'Please enter your pin now.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Join me in a beer?

Me when by BDD shows up

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Whenever his boss praised him, he broke into the biggest smile.

Knife-thrower.

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

"I had an amazing hug dream."

'Ooh, let me see... I'm hungry for affection?'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"Ghosts? I haven't seen a ghost here for 3000 years!"