Schadenfreude Seeker Pillows

'I come here every once in a while for a fresh shot of schadenfreude.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

The Reaper's Arms

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Stephen King

"See how it feels"

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

'Please enter your pin now.'

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Me when by BDD shows up

Join me in a beer?

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Whenever his boss praised him, he broke into the biggest smile.

Knife-thrower.

'Ooh, let me see... I'm hungry for affection?'

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

"I had an amazing hug dream."

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Ghosts? I haven't seen a ghost here for 3000 years!"