Schadenfreude Enthusiast Pillows

Schadenfreude

"Worse Off Alumni Quarterly"

"It's less a funeral and more a celebration of his death."

"I wish I could arrange my timeline according to who's the most miserable."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

The first car accident.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Baby on board.

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'