Scent Skeptic Gifts

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

PERFUMES, 'It's really just a sales gimmick, but we make everybody sign a waiver.'

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Canine Scentipede

'Have you no common scents?!'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Aromatherapy for Men

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Pollution Look

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'