Scatterbrained Savant T-Shirts

"Those are all my passwords."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You could do that.' I did

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

East End Maps.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Champagne Tasting.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

No caption (A painter paints an abstract picture. Her cat is moving away from in front of the canvas and there is a cat-shaped silhouette on the painting)

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Self-portraits

"Those aren't just any old doodles, Ms. Jones, they're notes for my graphic novel!"

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Architect chained to his drawing of parliament

"Dry cleaning, pet store, Salvation Army - I'd be lost without my stickies on the dash!"

'Welcome to 'Wall Street Speaks'... and now our next guest is an expert on street talk.'

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

'This marriage proposal is quite flattering, but why exactly are you called a 'Black Widow'?'

"This straw sucks! 'Er not."

"So, Humberto, you moved to the United States just last month?"

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

Sharon got stuck. . .

They say you should always leave the table a little hungry, but I can't wait around that long.

Thank You For Not Calling Me Dude!

"If you want to last in these parts, stop saying: 'that's cool'."

M.D. It just doesn't work like that --- You can't make yourself too big to fail.

'You're a cartoonist, I bet.'

'I tried everything to get my class to pay attention. I tried bribes,sarcasm,guilt,shame and threats. nothing works! Are you paying attention to what I'm saying?'