Scathing Review Enthusiast Pillows

"I like bad movies. I don't watch them, but I love the scathing reviews."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Filling the Missile Gap

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Grumpy Old Men

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Editor

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Art is a cruel mistress.

Ezra Pound