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Donald Trump Really Will Drain That D.C. Swamp

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

Trump returns home

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

Mary Trump

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Gulliver's Travails

Tennis corruption

Rupert Murdoch in the mud.

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

Trumpled

VW scandal

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

1998: A Look Back

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

"I said 'Are you available for comment?' Sir Geoffey"

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

Sauce close to the PM.