Scale Stomper Gifts

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"The first few weeks of my diet were spent just trying to find my feet."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I make it myself!"

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

Scales

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Nouveau wine

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

"I do diet...between snacks."

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

"My husband makes this wine."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

A very in tents little girl.

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

'LIAR!'

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'