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Justice Imbalance

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lady Justice.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

What your guitar says about you.

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

Law 'N' Order

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."