Scale Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Mountain Goat sees Mountain Goat Guru at peak.

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Woman and scales.

Please seat to be weighted.

'Your weight second opinion.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'LIAR!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"He always times '60 minutes.'"

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'You lie!'

'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Monks haircutting with compasses

Model Shop

"You're very finicky about a little decimal point."

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

Scale SOS!

'I love me. . . I love me not!'

'I strongly recommend a surgeon who can putt over one who hits the long drive.'

"I am retired now, but I was an accountant for 35 years 8 months 16 days 14 hours 26 minutes and 34 seconds."

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

Weight Loss Cheat.