Scale Modeling Fan Gifts

"Are you sure you used the correct scale?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Mine's camper."

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

'Still having problems finding day care?'

Viggo Mortensen

Scientists building a tower

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

A small man under a giant microscope.

Alberto Giacometti.

Age-salary ratio

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

An old mod has customised his mobility scooter.

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Miguel Ferrer

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Before the accident? John was a truck driver.

'Jimmy, what are you doing? The whole house will fall apart!'

"Do you have anything smaller?"

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."

A Cactus giving a Bulldozer driver a rude gesture as it is being knocked down for development

Frederick Robinson

A man is sweeping leaves in a museum full of marble statues.

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."