Scale Denier Pillows

"Everyone knows you can't disturb a nesting bird. I guess we'll have to postpone our diet."

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

Shrink

What your guitar says about you.

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

Woman and sport trainer

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

Lady Justice using metric scales.

Sitting down

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

A sleeping couple

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

Weight and Fortune.

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

My diet is working! I'm almost down to what I didn't want to get up to!

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

"I must not eat pies off the path, I must not eat pies off the path..."

"I don't think it matters is you choose metric or imperial."

Crater Lake

Aren't you afraid you'll void the warranty?

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

'What about your underwear? That must weigh a pound or two.'