Scale Chica Pillows

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

Critisize your weight.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

What your guitar says about you.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

Please seat to be weighted.

'Never mind another doctor -- I'm referring you to the Bureau of Weights and Measures.'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Woman and scales.

'Your weight second opinion.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'LIAR!'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'You lie!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

Time Scales