Savings Wizard Pillows

'I'm the bank manager. I understand you want to close your account. If I authorize a bonus interest of 0.001% will you change your mind?'

"He doesn't know it's for his college fund. We had it made from bullet proof glass."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I just..."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Investing your savings

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Roasting the Moneybox

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Saving for College.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'