Savings Schemer Pillows

Cost of food in Cuba

'High interest rates won't stop me from shopping!'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I just..."

Investing your savings

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

"Do you call this a business plan?"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

Nest Egg

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"It's a setup."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

The Mattress Savings Bank