Savings Spokesperson Gifts

'I need a government bailout.'

British savings accounts

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Investing your savings

Roasting the Moneybox

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"So much for password protected."

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"It failed the stress test."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"Do you have an Isa?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Piggy Bank ATM

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."