Savings Advocate Gifts

"The procedure was a complete success. We removed all of your money."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I just..."

Investing your savings

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Roasting the Moneybox

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"It failed the stress test."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'They are like family...they're my family of retirement funds.'

Nest Egg

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

The Mattress Savings Bank