Savings Aficionado Gifts

"...and these are our rates if you bury your treasure with us."

Gas Prices Down

'Well, just because we're a mega bank doesn't make yoy a nameless, faceless person Mr.RT600909!'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

"The stingy old bastard lunch sounds good."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Stock market investment advice

"I just..."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

Economy.

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

Occupy Budget Balancing

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'