Savings Gifts

Cutting corners can cost money.

"Careful burying all your bones. We get a cold snap and your assets are frozen!"

I have money and I'm not happy!

Save up to 100% when you don't buy anything.

A squirrel examines a nut in safe deposit box.

'That's much better.'

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

'A 401K? Are you kidding? I can't even run a 5K!'

'Yeah, but think of the money I saved, by NOT seeing a doctor.'

'I'm paying the hidden fees with hidden payments.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

"It looks like your private pension isn't going to yield as much as we originally anticipated...I'm afraid you'll have to go on collecting nuts for years."

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

"Why are so many people waiting an hour before the store opens, Mr. Freep?"

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

Money going to shark and piggy bank (colour).

70 is the new 40

"First it was one kid, then another and another...mobile banking has put my kind out of work."

"Sorry lad, but I invested all me pot of gold in bitcoin!"

Piggy bank #4: factory.

"A paperless society is fine and all, but just in case, I have a couple reams of 24lb. bond stuffed in my mattress."

Thrift: Get as much amputated as possible.

"This is Mr Hargreaves, class - he's here to talk about personal pension plans."

'These gas prices are outrageous! Almost as expensive as bottled water!'

'Your account was inactive for over 30 days, sir, so we bought donuts with it.'

Building society, savers rates -"Well, what shall we do with the interest, leave it in or withdraw it and buy a pot of tea for two?"

Can you tell me about your 401-kave plan?

'I had a Groupon.'

'What happens if I die young?'

'No, the vegetables.'

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."