Sausage Dog Enthusiast T-Shirts

'The divorce was amicable enough, but we did have a tug of war over who got the dog.'

'You wouldn't be very good at petting Dachshunds.'

"That's not fair!"

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Darned Copycats!"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Dog begging for a sausage

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

Hot dog warmer

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Bangers and Mash

'Is he sitting?'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

Bed or breakfast.

Sausage

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

A trio of local sausages.

Woman walking sausage dog.

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

'Don't keep going on about your cold paws - I've got my own problem!'