Satnav Satirist Pillows

The other GPS that could benefit humanity.

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

'This really is the road less traveled. I can't find it on my Google Map.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

Man crawling in desert finds sign reading 'Ignore your satnav'.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

"Recalculating."

That GPS was a real bargain!

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"The GPS is extorting money off me. It won't give me directions until I put money in its account."

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

GREENLAND

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

Fake Out! You are 300 miles from Dulles Airport! Hahah!

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

"REPENT! REPENT! REPENT!"

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

'Ramming speed sailor.'

'I'm a 'Crater-face,' am I? - Well, at least I don't have a stinky ATMOSPHERE!'

Surfing the Brown Water.