Satirical Humor Listener Prints

'Hey, look! It's the guy who was always speaking out about 'global warming'!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Crap from the future.

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trappist Monk Discord

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Trump

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'More government surveillance!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"