Satirical Health Nut Pillows

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

How about going easy on the carbs

Advocado

"Steamed vegetables."

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

All Natural Nothing

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

At the market

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Exercise now!