Health Nut Humor Pillows

'We try to keep it quiet, but the chef slips in a lot of organic and vitamin-enriched food.'

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Side effects may include....'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

M.D. You burned a hole in your stomach --- eat only bland foods from now on! No more spicy food?! It's a season-ending injury!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"It says here you've been experiencing peels of thunder�"

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

According to your chart, your leg is a pre-existing condition, Mr. Fusco. My entire body is a pre-existing condition, Doctor. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-12).

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"