Satirical Education Critique Gifts

"After 20 years of schooling, you're skilled at just one thing, taking tests"

Ethics exam cheater.

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

Students renaming 'in' and 'out' trays with 'shake it all about'.

'Think Basics.'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'Ms Phipps! Joey accidentally brought his grandmother's cream cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch! Call 911!'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

The Artificial Intelligentsia

Grading Guidelines.

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

Medical School

'This homework is a disgrace. I'd like a note from your computer.'

'You'll have to bring in your own refrigerator.'

"A parent/teacher conference? Let me check my schedule and I'll have my people get with your people."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."