Satirical Date Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Reggie is quite delightful, a jolly good fellow and butler wealthy!'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Drive in movies.

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

In Desperate Straits.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Heart to heart talk.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

Film Lovers.

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

Romance

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

Love Trap

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

Lovers.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Party-Crashing Ban

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

Militant Pacifists

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."