Satirical Cooking Show Lover Gifts

Jamie's cooking for the holocaust...

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"When did they add this channel?!"

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

'We need more cake shows!'

Road Kill Cafe.

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Mary Berry

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Chefs

'Ready, steady, Operate'