Satirical Comics Fans Pillows

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

Telekinetics on strike...

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Snap out of it.'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"Is your dog friendly?"

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'