Satirical Comedy Aficionado Gifts

Unclaimed State Nicknames

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silence of the Chickens...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I said slime."

Trappist Monk Discord

"Not now, Oliver."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Scuba cow"

Old rocker.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Bob's Driving School.

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"