Satirical Believers Pillows

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And, lo, the Almighty's Horse, Lucille, bestowed upon the universe a sacred meadow muffin, which got hardened by the sun and became the earth.'

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Drive-thru Church

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Cheap Labour Countries.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

Self raising Lazarus.

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

Holy water cooler moments

The Do's and Don'ts of Sin.

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

Noah Mishears God's Instruction...

'They've been relocated because hell is full.'

Moses as a kid.

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'Scram! -- I don't endorse candidates!'