Satirelover Gifts

"You're under arrest for violating federal guidelines and the appearance of wrong doing!'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Occu-Pie Mars

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Support the Ex-Troops

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Director/Action Man toy.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Pretty Flowers

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

Life is for the birds.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Trump pardons

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Do Not Resuscitate

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'