Satellite Strategist Gifts

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'You can laugh all you want, but since I bought this 'GPS' system, I haven't beached myself once!'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"I like to stay on top of things."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

Submarine Hunter.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'Sorry, Big Guy, We're downsizing, Here comes your replacement,'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

Battle.

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

"First, I storyboarded it."

"I think we should have used catapults before ground forces"

"You never used to visit me, but since I had satellite t.v.installed, it's Rapunzel, let down your hair! Rapunzel, let down your hair!"

"Sky, sir?"

Possible Merger Talks

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

'I want to be the first person to land on the sun.'

"Where should we hold this confrontation then?"

'You're obsessing again.'

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.