Satellite Dish Seeker T-Shirts

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Couch and Potato

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

Spy Satellite

The Great Canadian Novel

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'Well, I finally made the switch from cable to satellite.'

"Are you willing to relocate?"

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

Ostrich TV.

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

After hours TV.

Jolly Roger Inn Toilets - has small parrot urinal on the wall.

"It's your mother calling."

"That's way out of my price range..."

'Say '1' to hear the ocean in English. Decir '2' a oir el ocean en Espanol.'

"No, I don't recycle."

Lean beef

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

'I'd be more amazed if I DIDN'T hear the ocean.'

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -

"The steak is here to give its full consent."

'It cost me $8000.00, and all I can pick up is Canadian PBS.'

'Eddie, get with the times! Sell computers and pharmaceuticals - buy spy satellites and drones.'

"Four bedrooms, oceanfront property, and it's in our price range?! What's the catch?"

"Does the acronym ACOTAR mean anything to you?"

'According to the Global Positioning System, we're on the George Washington Bridge.'

Doggy satellite dish.

"Look a Sky-lark"